Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I believe in your delicious
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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