I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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