great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
