Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
