tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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