i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I have aggressive nipples.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Randomize
