I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
