You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize