No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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