she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
