I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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