Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize