Welp...herpes.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
