Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
