I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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