I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
