thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
