i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
We need to get me chipped asap
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
