My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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