a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
