I just threw up on my dentist
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
