dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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