he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
