She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize