i may or may not be watching the land before time
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize