i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize