we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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