She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
