Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
