# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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