I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
