well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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