I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
