She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize