Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
