If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
