Heybabeimwearingurpanties
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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