Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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