Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize