I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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