addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
