Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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