You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
