best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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