She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
