just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
