I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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