I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
