I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
