I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
