my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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