I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
