google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Randomize
