He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
