So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize