i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize