Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Randomize
