Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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