quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
