So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
