if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
