So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
