No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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