I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
