go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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