i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
