My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
