So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
