If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
