I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
